Title: FPS - First Person Scully
Author: Sara Bowen and KimK
Feedback: Greatly appreciated including constructive criticisms.
Disclaimer: The characters that you recognize in this story
belong to C. Carter and Co., Fox and the wonderful actors who
breathed life into written words, most notably G. Anderson and D.
Duchovny who where able make us believe in the improbable.
Jonathan belongs to Kim. The story belongs to us.
Spoilers: Most notably First Person Shooter, but we suggest being
pretty well familiar with the series and its characters.
Category: Scully/Other, MSR, Scully Angst, Mulder Angst
Summary: Scully is feeling unattractive and fed up with being
"one of the guys" and decides to venture out and claim her
rightful place as a woman.
Archive: Just let us know.
Gratitude: To CC. And Co. for creating these most memorable
characters and the show we all love.
Sara: The beginning of this story sat on my hard drive for nearly
a year. I had painted the characters into an angst-ridden corner
and I didn't know how to rescue them. Enter Kim who built a
bridge to release them and they soared (for which they are
forever grateful). Kim sent me the first installment of her
portion and it was my voice I heard when the characters spoke yet
very much hers too. I can never thank her enough for saving this
story from forever wallowing without an ending.
It has been my pleasure and honor to work with her. Thank you
Kim! You are the bestest!
Kim: This was the ultimate fanfic challenge. It was like "Here
are the first couple pages . . . where do we go from here?" I had
so much fun writing this and Sara is so awesome! We continuously
bounced off ideas and together constructed this baby. She was
also there to help when I would back myself into a corner. Thank
you Sara for coming up with the idea of this story! You're
Thanks goes to . . .: Dev for being our beta reader! You did your
job in improving our story and did it well. And thank you Chris,
David, Gillian and crew for making this show so much fun to write
about. It is impossible to run out of ideas! As always, thank
you readers for reading our fic!
Scully stood at the check-in line for the airline. Mulder and the
Gunmen were currently being checked in and she was next. Not that
any of them noticed she was missing. No, they were too busy
recapping the narrow escape at FPS and the evening that had
followed. Mulder had herded them all to the strip club that Jade
Blue Afterglow performed at. Scully only escaped by taking a taxi
back to their hotel. A very expensive cab ride that she was
determined that Mulder would reimburse her for.
It was her turn at the counter and, along with her ID and e-
ticket, she produced her frequent flyer card and upgraded to
first class. She needed to be as far away from Mulder and company
as possible. Dana Katherine Scully had her fill of their
continuing replay of the previous days activities and more than
her fill of the discussions about Ms. Afterglow. How many
adjectives were there to describe big boobs anyhow? She'd
expected comments from Frohike and Langly but Mulder shocked and
disgusted her. By the time they'd had breakfast and gotten to the
airport she felt completely unwomanly and totally unattractive.
When she was checked in she looked for the others only to see
their retreating backs as they proceeded to the gate. Scully
shrugged her shoulders and followed, not attempting to catch up.
Sitting across from them at the gate she observed the dynamics of
the foursome. Mulder was the undisputed leader, Frohike and
Langly watched him intently while he spoke, hanging on his words.
It was Byers' reaction that fascinated her, he kept slightly
removed. He chanced a glance in her direction and she understood.
His eyes spoke the words he could never say -- the whole thing
embarrassed him. He dared not tell the others because of some
arcane male code, but John Fitzgerald Byers wanted nothing to do
with this display of machismo. She nodded slightly, almost
imperceptibly, to let him know she understood and she was
rewarded with the smallest of smiles.
Boarding was called and no one noticed that she stood when the
rear coach rows and first class were called. Scully reached her
seat and buckled in, watching the other passengers board turning
towards the window when Mulder came into view, refusing to look
at them as they passed.
Mulder saw her sitting on the plane and for the first time since
they'd left the game he really looked at her. Until that moment
he hadn't realized she wasn't with the group. Her features looked
casual but her posture screamed defeat. Scully was hurting and he
didn't know why. He wanted to talk to her but the crush of the
boarding hoards made him keep moving. No matter what they were
going through they never split up on a flight unless the plane
was over booked.
Scully didn't really care for flying and take offs and landing
often found her nails digging deeply into the armrest. Mulder
found out early in their partnership how to talk her through it,
they both knew what he was doing and she'd once raised her hand
to his cheek and thanked him. He feigned surprise and told her he
just liked the sound of his own voice. In the last several years
they'd taken to holding hands too. It just dawned on him that
they hadn't done that in awhile.
When they got to their seats, four together in the center, he
stopped an attendant and asked about upgrading, specifically row
3 seat B, next to Scully. He laid on some of his "ladies charm"
as Scully called it and within five minutes he was bidding his
friends goodbye and moving towards the front of the plane.
Before he got very far Byers caught him. "Don't mention the game
or that stripper." Was all he said and then he returned to his
Scully didn't looked at him as he took his seat, it was almost as
if she expected him. The captain called for the final takeoff
preparations and he reached for Scully's hand only to find her
arms wrapped around her center with her eyes tightly screwed
shut. She was not going to allow him to comfort her. He couldn't
push it, but the action spoke volumes of how far their
relationship was deteriorated. Scully was not a person who
allowed others in easily and it was a gift to him that she not
only showed him her weakness, but also allowed him to help her.
The first hours of the flight were silent except for the few
interruptions from the flight attendant about drinks. When their
meal came, which was quite nice considering the source, he
watched her pick at it. She looked as if swallowing was hard and
she soon gave up. He looked at the other occupants of the cabin
and noted they both were watching the film and had their
earphones on. It was time to talk.
"Scully, tell me what's wrong." He kept his voice soothing but
with an edge that brooked no challenge. "And don't even think
about telling me you're fine." That earned him a small smile.
Scully sat back and took in a deep breath and she kept her eyes
straight ahead. "Yesterday and today I listened to you talk about
that woman. I guess I should say both of those women. You talked
about her looks, how beautiful she was, how her body looked and
so on. At first I was shocked that you all would talk like that
in front of me until I realized that you didn't think of me as a
woman at all." Mulder wanted to say something but didn't know
what he could say. She was right, they had treated her like one
of the boys. It shamed him to think how he'd pushed them to go
watch that strip show. He'd actually laughed at Scully when she
grabbed a cab back to the hotel after dinner.
He heard her continuing, her words were coming fast as if she
feared he'd interrupt her. "It's a sad moment for a woman to find
out that the reason she hasn't been on a date in years was not
her choice, but because she was--is totally unattractive to men.
That the last man that even looked at her was a psychopath and
even he backed away. I now understand the way you treat me. The
ditches, brazen innuendo that never amount to anything, that
moment in your hallway before the bee stung me that was never
spoken of or acted on and the women--Kristin, Bambi, Angela,
Phoebe, Diana, that blind woman Marty and even Karin Berquist,
not to mention every waitress, flight attendant and nearly every
woman our cases brought us in contact with--and now that walking
wet dream. Everyone of them got the Mulder treatment, but not
good old Scully." She stopped to take a breath and gave the
saddest laugh he'd ever heard. "I might as well tell you how
truly stupid I am. In spite of everything and your complete
disinterest I harbored ideas of a future between us, a romantic
future." Tears were teasing the corners of her eyes. He had to
"Not disinterest Scully, caution and not an insignificant amount
of fear. Fear that you would flee if I made any real overtures."
This time her laugh was bitter. "Don't Mulder, just don't. I'm a
big girl I don't need to have you placate me with false words of
encouragement. Don't worry I'm not leaving the X-files division
so you don't have to try another forced overture to keep me
"Scully that wasn't why--" Mulder started to defend himself but
"Mulder, come on, how can you think I would believe you when you
claim 'caution'? You have never been cautious. You and Agent
Fowley carried on an overt affair up until she left for Europe."
Mulder was surprised she knew about that. "The Gunmen knew about
it and you wouldn't believe how many 'friends' I have in the
Hoover that couldn't wait to fill me in on the details after she
returned. Apparently you weren't very discrete, long lunches,
lingering kisses in the break rooms and the cafeteria. And my
personal favorite, one motel room on assignments. Someone even
told me that you and Diana were married. Yet with all that there
were no backlashes and low and behold SHE was never abducted to
have her internal organs reworked." Her words were bitter and
angry but her voice remained calm which made his despair of her
interpretations all the deeper.
He had no idea how to convince her of how deep his feelings for
her ran, and considering how stupidly he'd acted he wasn't sure
if he ever could.
She was talking again.
"I should have known from the first, Phoebe Green. After the
hotel fire while you were passed out she told me how you'd booked
only one room for the two of you. Then when you woke you didn't
ask about the children or the information that I had found. No
your first words were 'where's Phoebe'. In your view on things I
was so insignificant that you didn't bother putting on a robe
until Phoebe entered the room. That woman had left you alone
while she glad-handed the 'driver' and played up to the press not
to mention the Marsdens. I had to ask you if you wanted my
findings and then you couldn't wait to run after her."
Mulder was trying to form the words to tell her how her view of
things was mistaken when the captain announced their decent and
Scully closed in on herself. He wanted to hold her hand and talk
his nonsense to her, but he knew she didn't want him to so he did
the only thing he could, he watched her.
When they disembarked he passed the attendant who'd upgraded him
she held out her hand and he took it. She slipped a note to him
and one look back at Scully told him she'd seen the exchange. She
passed him and walked away without looking back. When he caught
up with her he made a big show of tossing out the note.
"Not very impressive Mulder when you take in account your famous
memory, one look at that note and you had her number memorized."
She wouldn't believe him if he told he never looked at the damned
The Gunmen caught up with them at the luggage carousel. By the
time they'd gotten their bags Scully was gone. He'd driven her to
the airport so he surmised she was taking a cab home. He ran to
the nearest cabstand only to see her entering a taxi and leaving.
Mulder dropped the guys off and drove around for several hours
not knowing what to do. He wanted to go to Scully's to talk this
out but he was afraid she'd refuse to see him. Mulder debated the
pro's and con's of going to her. His decision was made when he
realized that there was no way he'd get any rest that night and
he suspected it was the same for her. Eleven twenty-seven found
him parking in front of her building. Her lights were on; it was
time to confront this issue head on.
Surprisingly Scully opened the door after his first knock. She
was dressed in a pair of navy slacks and a light-blue V-neck tee,
her feet were bare she'd let her hair air dry so it was a mass to
soft curls and her face was devoid of make-up. She said nothing
but simply moved aside to let him in. Mulder couldn't help but
wonder if he could have been so generous if she'd been as
careless and insulting as he'd been towards her. He still
couldn't figure out why he'd acted the way he had. The problem
was he had some explaining to do, but no explanations came to
"Mulder I know you are here to try and make me feel better but I
think it would be best if you would just go home. We need to be
in the office at eight to try and make some sense of what
happened so we can report it to Skinner. And to be quite frank, I
don't think what's left of my ego can take any more humiliation.
I couldn't stand to have you make some half-hearted attempt to
make me feel better. How I have it all wrong and that you do
think I'm attractive or some other nonsense. All because you are
afraid I might leave or do something foolish. Well, let me head
it off; I'm not leaving the work and my days of doing rash things
are long past. Now please leave me alone to lick my wounds and
get some rest." Her last words were laced with the tears that
choked her throat.
Mulder wanted to grab her and hold her to him forever. He wanted
to tell her everything in his heart. How much she means to him.
But he knew that because of his stupidity and callousness there
was nothing he could say that she would believe.
Therefore he decided to say the only thing he could think to say
at the moment, deep down knowing it would blow up in his face.
"You're beautiful, Scully." He said it with an unwanted hesitancy
that he soon regretted to no end. Way to make it believable, he
"You bastard," she whispered with disdain and stepped back ever
Mulder winced and ran a nervous hand through his hair. He'd
screwed up and there was nothing he could do or say at this time
to fix it.
"I deserved that."
"Oh trust me, Mulder, you deserve a lot worse than that." Her
voice was low and even now, but the anger in her stance and tone
"Scully, I don't know what I'm supposed to say, much less, do
about all of this. I screwed up and I'm sorry."
"To be honest, I don't want to hear anything you have to say."
She heaved a heavy sigh after that statement and her tense
muscles relaxed in defeat. "Just go home, Mulder, please. If you
want to do anything for me now, just go home."
Mulder closed his eyes momentarily, nodding in compliance. He
made his slow retreat to the door, opening it slowly. Scully
followed him and watched him step into the hallway. He looked up
to say goodnight when she interrupted that idea with her own
"I am a woman, Mulder and I do have feelings. I had hoped after
all this time together you would know that. Goodnight." Without
allowing a word in, she shut the door and he was left to stare at
the paint on door.
Awkward was one of the many adjectives Mulder could think of to
describe his day at work with Scully. She'd said her good morning
and they quickly threw together a report. After the short meeting
with Skinner, Scully excused herself for lunch and Mulder was
left alone in the basement, his appetite non-existent.
Scully returned from lunch an hour later with a hard-to-miss hop
in her step and a smile on her face. Mulder was beyond suspicious
but didn't dare ask where the sudden change in mood had come
from. He just let her be. If anything, he was happy to see that
she was happy.
All day, Mulder had tried to come up with the right thing to say;
he wouldn't let either one of them leave until some sort of
resolve was settled between them.
She took her seat at her little foldout desk and started tapping
away at her keyboard. After an hour of mindlessly sneaking
glances at her, Mulder got up the nerve to approach her.
"So, Scully, your mood seems to have brightened," he commented
with as confident of a tone as his emotions would allow.
She looked up at him briefly, a smile hinting at the corners of
her mouth and then returned back to her computer screen.
"Really? I hadn't noticed. Sorry."
"You don't need to apologize, I'm happy to see you smiling."
"Well, if you are standing there in hopes that it was something
you did to cause my sudden optimism, then I don't regret to
inform you that it has nothing to do with you."
Mulder grabbed a chair and straddled it, his hands folded across
the top and his chin resting against them. Sensing he was going
to try and make things peachy keen again, Scully thought she
would at least enjoy the show and turned her attention towards
"Look, Scully, I don't know how many apologies it is going to
take for you to realize I mean it, but I am willing to say it as
many times as you see fit. I _am_ sorry, Scully. I was just
thinking with the wrong part of my anatomy and you didn't deserve
that sort of treatment."
"You're right, I didn't." Her look was somewhat more pensive now,
however her eyes had taken on a softer look compared to the one
given at his failed attempt at an apology the night before.
"You mentioned all the women from my past and how my excuse for
wanting to take things slow just wasn't going to cut it, but it
is the truth. Despite my speed with past relationships, I have
changed a lot since I have met you. Hell, I've changed a lot in
the past year because of you. I respect you Scully and whether
you choose to believe me or not, I think you are beautiful. The
most beautiful woman I have ever known, to be honest."
He sat quietly after spilling that out of him, expecting her to
say something. She didn't so he continued.
"You see, I have two ways of looking at women. There are those
who I look at and I think how, um, hot they are and I am filled
with nothing but lust. And then there are women like you who
captivate me with their brilliance, their wit, their stubbornness
and undeniable physical beauty and I think of how wonderful it
would be to spend the rest of my life with you them."
She graced him with a smile at his faltered last line and then
brushed an errand strand of hair from his brow. He was no longer
slouching like before and his eyes followed her as she moved to
Come on Scully say something. Anything!
"Thank you, Mulder." She said it quietly and with caution. She
wasn't about to forgive so quickly. It just wasn't in her nature.
However, she knew Mulder far too well and what he had said had
been from his heart.
He smiled in triumph and then moved to stand beside her.
For once in his life he had not sensed a 'but' coming on.
"I am not letting you off that easily. Let's just say you've
quickened the process." She moved to put things away and began to
tidy up her desk.
He leaned against his desk as he watched her move to close up
shop. Why was she in such a hurry?
"You have an appointment or something, Scully?"
She looked up from putting things in her briefcase and gave him a
sheepish smile. It was the same smile she'd had since returning
"Um, actually, no," she paused briefly then stood to look him in
the eyes, "I have a date."
"Yeah, you know, those things where a certain individual asks
another individual out for coffee, or lunch or possibly dinner
and a movie. Don't act so shocked that I, Agent Dana Scully, was
actually capable of getting one." She'd meant to make that last
part sound bitter, but it came out with humor. Her mood just
wasn't going to allow any bitterness at this time, and frankly,
she was okay with that.
"No, Scully, you are perfectly capable of getting one of these .
. .dates, is that what they call them?"
"Mmhmm." She was distracted now and ready to make her exit.
"Who with?" He was really trying to sound like it didn't bother
him, but jealousy, yes jealousy, was painted in big neon green
letters all across his face.
"I don't think you know him. Agent Little."
"Well that sounds promising."
"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."
"Never met him, is he a rookie?"
"No, he's actually a doctor. He works up in the lab." She made
sure to stress the word doctor. Doctors were easy to relate to,
so she knew it would cause Mulder to squirm with jealousy knowing
that she had found an attractive man of her caliber.
Not to say she was doing all of this out of revenge. Agent
Little, Jonathan, had had his eye on her for quite some time. He
was a gentleman to the extreme and had a remarkable sense of
humor. However, deep down, she knew he didn't hold a candle to
"Ooooh, I see."
"Yes. Well. I have some errands to run and then I need to get
"What are you two kids going to do?"
She shrugged and smiled. "I have no idea, he is very
I'm spontaneous, Mulder thought. He almost added a stomp to
emphasize his point to . . . himself. He was seconds away from
"I hope you have a good time." Ah jeez, Mulder, that wasn't even
convincing to you.
"Thank you." It was obvious he was about to scream, so despite
herself, she walked over to him and placed a lingering kiss just
to the right of his mouth. Maybe this date and a lingering,
albeit chaste, kiss would teach him to accept her for the woman
that she was.
It was because of this date that she finally felt like a woman
and she was almost giddy.
"Bye, Mulder." And with that she walked out the door.
A date. Scully hadn't been on a date since Ed Jerse and that
wasn't a pleasant memory. It had been too long. In her mind she
had always seen dinners and lunches with Mulder as dates, but now
figured that had never been the case at all. This was different.
She had someone to dress up for and Jonathan was someone who
would appreciate it.
Jonathan had been in D.C. for only a year and she had known him
since his arrival, not so much on a personal basis. He worked in
the lab and was usually there when she would be up there working
on a case. He'd asked her out a few times in the past, just for
lunch or coffee, but she had always turned him down. She turned
him down all because of Mulder.
She'd still been beyond angry with Mulder when she'd left for
lunch. Not bothering to drive, she'd walked to a deli down the
street and just ordered a chicken salad, her appetite wavering.
Jonathan had been there. He'd even been kind enough to offer and
join her and she'd accepted.
Scully thought it was about time to get to know him personally,
so she'd asked him about his life and he about hers. He had a
great sense of humor, very different from Mulder's. No innuendos
or sarcasm, just witty comments and jokes at the right moments.
They'd shared a strawberry cheesecake, her appetite having been
returned to her.
Jonathan was only a little shorter than Mulder with blonde hair
and green eyes. He always had a smile pulling at his lips and had
obviously been raised to treat a woman with respect. It was close
to the end of lunch when he'd finally asked her out for, well,
whatever he had planned.
"So, Dana, all these times I have asked you out and you've turned
me down . . . has it been because of Agent Mulder?"
She couldn't lie to him.
"Actually, yes. Although on this last case I realized I'd been
holding out for no reason. I'd thought there was something there,
but there wasn't. We're just partners."
He'd offered a toothy grin that lit up his face and lightly
placed his hand on hers.
"I'm sorry to hear that."
She'd smiled and, much to her chagrin, blushed as well then
joked, "Yeah, it's written all over your face."
"Well, okay. I'm sorry things didn't work out the way you wanted
with him, but I am not sorry that you have no reason to hold back
now. Would you do me the honor of being my date out on the town
She considered him briefly and her smile grew. "Okay."
"What do you have in mind, just so I know what to wear."
"Oh just look beautiful, which won't be a problem. I'll pick you
up around seven."
Writing down her address for him, she'd watched him as he stuck
the napkin in his pocket and left with a satisfied smile.
She shook the memory from her mind with a smile and opened her
closet. After staring at her suits, she pushed them down the rod
to reveal her black dress covered in plastic.
When was the last time I wore this? She asked herself as she
pulled it from the closet.
It was simple but classy; black silk that fell loosely to just
below her knees. Spaghetti straps held it up and the back
crisscrossed, the scoop low. She slipped it on with ease.
It hugged her waist just right and the sides flared at the hips
perfectly. Thank God.
She'd already pinned her hair up, some tendrils falling to frame
her face. All she needed was some lipstick and a little more eye
make-up. Shoes! She needed shoes. Shoes that cried out 'vixen' to
anyone and everyone who saw her.
Scully had the perfect pair. It was a pair she had purchased in
New York, but had never worn. Where was she to wear them? The
office? The look on Mulder's face would be the only thing worth
Taking the box from the bottom of her closet, she opened it, the
shoes still placed nicely in the box. They were three-inch
stiletto heels, with rhinestone straps. One strap crossed right
above her toes and the other wrapped around her ankles. Perfect.
She actually felt beautiful. Something she hadn't felt in a long
Making her way gracefully into the bathroom, she rummaged through
her secret stash of make-up. Opting for dark red lipstick and a
little more eyeliner. She applied them and then headed for the
As if on cue, she heard a knock at the door. Jonathan had said
'around seven', so that allowed him to be early. Opening it
without hesitation, Scully was surprised to see Mulder on the
"Mulder, what the hell are you doing here?"
Mulder gave her the once over before he even thought of
responding. She looked ravishing, absolutely delectable. Her hair
was swept up, with stray hairs finishing the look. With only a
little more eye make-up than usual, her rosebud lips were red and
full. Aside from the form-fitting dress that did her curves
justice, his eyes settled on her feet.
Her perfectly pedicured feet. The rhinestones also did their job
in serving justice to the perfection that was Scully. Why hadn't
he ever told her what a vision she was to him?
"Hello? Mulder? I asked you what you were doing here."
"Oh right, yeah, um . . ." Why had he come here again?
The foot she had been tapping suddenly stopped and a smile pulled
at her lips.
"You came here to meet him didn't you?" Scully shook her head and
then welcomed him inside with an ushering hand.
Mulder walked in, the door shutting behind him.
"Actually, this situation we're in is eating me alive Scully. I
don't know what to do to convince you that I am sorry."
"Mulder, I have no doubt in my mind that you are sorry now.
Despite that fact, 'I'm sorry', just isn't going to cut it. You
made me feel like crap Mulder and it is going to take a lot more
than a few compliments to make up for your hormones on parade
"Would it help if I said you looked stunning tonight?"
"It wouldn't hurt."
Approaching her with caution, he looked into her eyes and smiled.
"You look stunning, Scully, absolutely breath-taking."
"Thank you, Mulder," she said it with control, but her stomach
was fluttering and she hated her body for turning against her
A knock on the door broke his gaze and Scully moved to answer it.
In came Prince Charming. Mulder hated him on sight and he hadn't
even met the guy.
A genuine smile crossed the man's face as he took a look at
"You look amazing, Dana, absolutely breath-taking."
Mulder wanted to scream, "THAT'S MY LINE!"
With warmness in her eyes that Mulder had not been blessed to see
when he had paid her the same compliment, she simply replied,
"Thank you Jonathan, you look very handsome."
Jonathan had on a pair of black slacks and a blue button up
shirt, no tie, but a tailored black sports jacket.
Jonathan looked to Mulder and offered a handshake. "You must be
Agent Mulder, or at least I hope so, otherwise I have a lot of
explaining to do." Jonathan laughed at his own joke and Scully
smiled in response.
Mulder took the man's hand and feigned a friendly smile.
"Yes, I'm Agent Mulder, I guess you're Agent Little."
"Please, no formalities, just call me Jonathan," he said with a
smile that was real. He didn't feel inferior at all, which made
Scully smile and Mulder cringe.
"Agent Mulder was just leaving, weren't you Mulder?" Scully gave
'the look' that said he better agree or die.
"Right, yes. Um, you two kids have a good time and don't do
anything I wouldn't do."
Mulder let himself out and apparently Jonathan cracked a joke
soon after, for Mulder heard Scully unleash a giggle. A giggle?!
Scully doesn't giggle, Mulder almost yelled. What was this guy
doing to her?
An inner voice broke in and responded with, "He's doing what you
should have done a long time ago, you moron. He's making her feel
like a woman."
A frustrated sigh escaped his lips as he pushed open the door to
exit her building. He took a seat in his car and seethed.
Almost five minutes later, Scully and Jonathan left the building,
a light shawl draped over her shoulders. After witnessing
Jonathan open the car door for her, Mulder waited until they
drove off before he got out of his car.
Taking out his key for Scully's apartment, he let himself back
into the building and made his way to her apartment. When she got
back, he'd be waiting.
"I am so pathetic," he said to himself and sat down on her couch.
Jonathan only walked Scully to the front of her building, so as
not to disturb her neighbors at such a late hour. He placed a
gentle kiss to her cheek and then gave her a brief hug.
"I had a really good time, Jonathan, thank you."
"The pleasure was all mine, Dana. I better let you sleep," he
said with a wink.
"All right, good night."
He waved and walked down the stairs to his car.
Scully walked, well floated, to her apartment and unlocked her
She was about to reach for the lamp when a voice in the darkness
asked, "You have a good time?"
Scully almost jumped out of her skin, despite knowing whom the
voice belonged to.
"Jesus, Mulder, what are you doing sitting in the dark . . . in
"Just thought I'd be here to make sure you got home safe."
"Yeah, well, you're freaking me out. I'm in one piece and I'm
home, now scram." Scully turned the light on and threw her shawl
on the back of the couch, exasperated. It was like working with a
"You're not even going to tell me what you and Spontaneous Agent
Little did on your date?"
"How is that any of your business, Mulder?" She slipped down
beside him, only to unbuckle her shoes and take them off.
"I don't know, I guess it's not."
"Well, I'm glad we've got that settled. Now leave."
Mulder sighed, but made no move to get up. Scully looked up at
him and rolled her eyes. Why did he have to be so stubborn? It
was a terrible thing, because she too could be just as stubborn,
if not more so. Right now she was too tired to fight him though.
"Ugh, fine! I'll tell you, but you have to leave as soon as I
Mulder smiled triumphantly and turned his attention towards her,
"We went and saw 'Casablanca' at the old movie theatre. Turns
out, one of his favorite movies is a favorite of mine."
Well woop-de-do, Mulder thought.
"Then we went and had a nice picnic dinner in the park. A live
jazz band was playing and it was beautiful. The sky was so clear
and the music set the mood perfectly."
Scully had this far off look on her face and Mulder was tempted
to reach for his gun and shoot himself.
"Then we got some ice cream and afterwards we took a nice walk by
the lake and talked about anything and everything under the
The window looked awfully inviting right now, jumping from it at
just the right angle would easily put him out of his misery.
"And now I'm home. He was a perfect gentleman, he walked me to
the door and kissed me on the cheek."
Thank God, Mulder almost screamed.
"Well, I must say that I am happy things didn't go too far," he
replied without thinking.
"Wow, you really don't know me at all, do you Mulder?"
"Wait, no, Scully I didn't mean to imply "
"It's all right. Nothing could spoil this evening, not even you.
Now, if you will please keep the deal and shut the door on your
way out." She stood up and stretched. Leaving her shoes and shawl
where she'd tossed them, she made her way to her bedroom.
Without so much as a good night, she shut the door and left him
with his own thoughts.
Standing slowly to leave, Mulder ran both hands through his hair
and made towards the door. A heavy sigh escaped his lips and he
left, his head downcast.
There would be no sleep tonight for Agent Mulder.
Scully entered, her head held high and a hard to miss smile on
"Hey," Mulder replied, his voice quiet and low. He was sitting at
his desk, playing with a pen.
Scully put her things down and hung up her jacket. Moving to her
desk, she turned on her computer and waited patiently as it
"Look, Scully, I'm really sorry about what I said on Friday. It
wasn't my intention to even suggest you would sleep with
Scully looked up and replied meaningfully, "Mulder, forget about
As if her response had completely gone through one ear and out
the other, Mulder continued.
"I just thought that because of Ed Jerse "
"Ed Jerse has nothing to do with anything. But since you brought
it up, you thought what because of Ed?" She walked around to lean
against the wall, her arms crossed and her eyebrow arched.
Mulder cleared his throat, regretting already that he had even
started this conversation.
"Well I, uh, just always assumed "
"Ah come on, it's just that you never gave me any reason _not_ to
believe something intimate didn't happen with you and Ed. There
was never an explanation given for me to think otherwise."
"An explanation?!" Scully moved away from her leaning position
and stepped closer to Mulder in challenge.
"Yeah, you could have at least "
"Well, isn't that the proverbial pot calling the kettle black. I
should explain _my_ personal life and dates to you, but when it
comes to you, you're a man of mystery."
You are digging your grave, Mulder thought to himself. Why
couldn't he have just said good morning and offered her some
coffee. He could have at least stuck to neutral topics like the
Mulder stood up from his chair and mirrored her earlier position
by leaning against his desk and crossing his arms.
"What? Do you want an explanation?"
"Don't offer it as peace offering, Mulder. I want you to tell me
about your life when you feel like it. It's all about you anyway,
isn't it?" Her eyes were cold and one could cut the tension in
the room with a knife.
"Damn it, Scully, it's not like I have been trying to hide
anything from you, not intentionally. How was I supposed to know
you were interested in all the gory details?"
"Don't even try and pull that on me! Our first case together you
spilled your heart out to me with no hesitation. I would think
after seven years I would at least know if you were ever married
At some point in time, Scully had stepped close enough to Mulder
to jab her index finger into his chest. Her breathing was heavy
and the Irish in her was being unleashed.
Shrugging in defeat, Mulder dropped his arms to his sides and
Scully dropped her finger away from his chest.
"Fine, Scully, sit down. I'll tell you everything you want to
know, because as my partner I want you to know and as my best
friend I need you to know."
Scully rolled her eyes and took a seat in the chair in front of
"Ready when you are," she said simply, irritation in her voice.
"I'll start at the beginning."
Ignoring her sarcasm, Mulder took a deep breath and reached back
into a history he'd like to have forgotten long ago.
"Phoebe was a college fling," he started, already pacing. "She
made life interesting in the worst way. She was good company, but
it was all physical attraction. Sure she was smart, but arrogant
and selfish too. We had our fun and as a college man I thought it
was love, but there wasn't anything there, just lust. When she
came back into my life, I couldn't help but have some feelings
towards her again. Needless to say, I regret that relationship,
if you could even call it that."
Scully thought of saying something, but stopped herself. Her
expression had softened only slightly and Mulder was back in his
"As for the women who made their brief appearances in my life,
they were just fantasies. Not even that. They were attractive
and, for the most part intelligent, but not worth considering.
I'm a man, women are my Kryptonite," he shrugged, as if that
would explain everything. In a way it did.
Men, for the most part, had an almost uncontrollable sex drive
and Scully wasn't about to suggest Mulder was any different.
Still, he had yet to get to the thing that really made her skin
"Well, except for Marty," he quickly interjected, "She was
innocent and I didn't like her taking the blame. In a way I saw
her as my sister."
Scully nodded, but her eyes told him to continue. He read it well
and took in a shaky breath.
"Diana . . . you want the truth?"
He wasn't ready for this. He would never be ready to tell her
this. Just say it, Mulder thought to himself.
Without giving it another thought, Mulder blurted, "We were
Scully's eyes widened. Why she was surprised she wasn't sure.
She'd always assumed there had been more than an office fling
between them, but to actually know it was a lot to handle.
Her poker face in place, Scully stood up and brushed her hair
behind her ear.
"Thank you for telling me."
"It was a short, miserable marriage, Dana." He moved in one fluid
motion from his chair to a couple feet in front of her.
Scully's eyes shut at the mention of her first name. For some
reason, when he called her 'Dana' she felt uneasy. It was a rare
endearment, but it rubbed her the wrong way. I guess she figured
that in the back of her mind their last names were in a sense pet
names for one another.
"It lasted a few months into our partnership before we realized
we made a lousy married couple. When she came back into my life,
our lives, I still respected her as my partner. Our divorce ended
mutually and we remained friends. I know this isn't something you
want to hear but "
"No," Scully interrupted, "it's fine. I'm glad you told me.
You're a few years too late, but I guess it is better than not
knowing at all. It's a shame I had to coax it out of you,
She moved away from him and walked towards the door.
"I haven't had breakfast yet, so I'm going to get me something
from down the street."
It was a lie and they both knew it.
"Mulder, please, just . . . don't, ok?"
He stepped back, as if allowing her more space than the millions
of miles between them and watched her walk out the door.
It had been a little over one week since Mulder had explained his
past to Scully. One lousy week.
Sure, she was talking to him in complete sentences now and would
even make eye contact, but she was growing more distant from him
than he could handle.
He wanted his Scully back. If he couldn't have her romantically,
he wanted to at least have her back as his best friend. They were
in this strange realm between partners and strangers and it was
Even though Scully was moving on with her life and had a
wonderful guy, she hated where she and Mulder were at as well. It
was hard to shut him out of her life like this. Seven years of
friendship, companionship and amazing chemistry and it was
dissolving like sugar in water. It was hard to just let go.
He'd been married, so what right? There were a lot of things from
her past he had no idea about. She could've handled the idea if
he had been married to some woman named Rachel who'd been born
and raised in Nebraska. However, he had been married to Diana. He
had sat back and watched while Scully fought for him and fought
to keep his trust in her against his ex-wife.
It was useless to dwell on it. Mulder had told her. Scully was
sensible enough to know that staying angry with him over such a
thing was a waste of time. What would it accomplish? Diana was
dead and so was the past.
They had just spent the last few days in California on some
twisted voodoo case. Scully'd had to cancel a date with Jonathan,
but promised to make it up to him the coming weekend. She wasn't
about to tell him what had happened. That was probably the only
imperfect thing about him. She couldn't talk to him about her
cases because she didn't want him looking at her like she was
nuts. He wouldn't of course, he wasn't like that, but it didn't
make her fear of him running away scared subside.
The voodoo case had probably been the closest she and Mulder had
been since the FPS case. They'd discussed the case professionally
and when she had fallen victim, as usual, to the craziness that
was the X-Files, he'd been there for her.
Scully walked into the office after having lunch with Jonathan,
only to find Mulder snacking on a sandwich and looking through a
pile of folders.
"Hey Scully," he greeted, his nose buried in the manila folder.
"I was just catching up on some reading." Mulder tossed the file
aside and took a healthy bite out of his sandwich.
Scully just nodded and hung up her jacket.
"So, I've been thinking," Mulder said as he tossed his napkin
into the trashcan and finished chewing the last of his sandwich.
Offering a mock expression of worry, Scully took a seat in front
of his desk.
"What's that look for?"
"Nothing Mulder, it's just that . . . when you think, something
of the extreme always rears its ugly head."
"No no, hear me out. I think we should go out."
A genuine look of surprise crossed Scully's face and she sat
forward in her chair. Yep, something extreme had definitely come
"Like, on a date?"
"Yeah, you know, that thing where one individual asks another
"Yeah yeah, I seem to remember refreshing your memory on the
definition of a date not long ago." She was amused.
He'd amused Scully! All was not lost.
"Mulder I don't know if that would be a good idea "
"Oh come on, it'll be a celebration."
"Of what?" Scully had relaxed into her seat once again and Mulder
was still comfortably seated in his chair, swiveling from side to
"Well, I've tallied up about ten reasons plus a thousand- why
you should have walked out of that office door for good in the
time you have been working with me and one of those has been in
the last few weeks. I feel your tenacity and amazing will power
for putting up with me calls for a celebration."
Mulder had this confident, playful smile on his face but his eyes
gave away his fear of rejection. He was taking a huge leap in
asking Scully on a date, but it was now or never. The closer she
and Jonathan got, the further she and Mulder got.
The ball was in her court. Technically the ball had been in her
court since she'd decided to move on, but Mulder figured he would
steal the ball and take a shot.
Scully had a thoughtful look on her face and much to his relief
and delight, she was smiling.
"You have a point Mulder."
"That wasn't a yes."
Mulder cleared his throat uncomfortably and eyed the door
briefly, plotting his escape.
"Okay, sure," she finally complied.
"Yes, really. Don't get too excited, I'm still cooling off from,
Holding in his unbelievable joy, Mulder brought his hands behind
his head and took on a relaxed, neutral pose.
"Me get excited? I wouldn't dare."
"Good." A smile was still hinting on her features as she stood to
sit at her table.
"Friday good for you?"
Saturday was her date with Jonathan therefore Friday was open.
"Yeah, that's fine. I'm a little scared to ask what I should
wear," she replied, not yet seated.
Mulder shrugged and looked Scully up and down. Did he just check
me out? Scully mused.
"I'm sure anything will be perfect."
That's about as close as Mulder could get to a compliment. Unless
there was adrenaline pumping through him due to a life changing
moment or death knocking at the door, Mulder was terrible with
words. He may be a charmer, but it was all body language with
She gave a polite nod and took her seat.
The rest of the day was, well, unusual. Mulder kept sneaking
glances at Scully and much to her chagrin, her heart would speed
up each time she caught him in the act.
You're mad at him, she kept chanting. You have a thousand reasons
to hate him right now; she would tie in every now and then. How
could he be so confident? She would question with each glance he
gave her. He must have one hell of an evening planned, was her
After everything Mulder had kept hidden from her, after the way
Mulder had treated her, Scully was haunted by one other
imperfection Jonathan possessed and she hated herself for having
the nerve to even think about it.
Jonathan wasn't Mulder.
Friday came too soon. Granted Mulder had only asked her out on
Wednesday, it was still too soon.
Why did I agree to this? Scully berated herself as she combed out
her wet hair.
Drying it with haste, Scully was mentally going through her
wardrobe, trying to decide what exactly she was to wear on this
On one hand she wanted to look like regular Agent Dana Scully to
prove that she wasn't treating this event any different than
going to the bank.
On the other hand, Scully wanted to take on her rare role as
vixen to show Mulder what he had missed out on. She wanted her
outfit to say, "sorry pal, you only get me for a few hours, you
had your chance for a lifetime."
Maybe that's not how she really felt and maybe she wanted it to
still be a lifetime, but she couldn't let her feelings get in the
way. There were moments Scully considered letting it all slide
and giving him another chance, but she was not about to show her
In her life she had learned to fend off her weaknesses with
strengths. Unfortunately, what had become her life was her
weakness and strength Mulder.
Now that her hair was dry, not styled, Scully stared at herself
long and hard in the mirror.
"Why did you agree to this?" she finally vocalized, albeit
The whole celebration part of all this had been an excuse and she
had fallen for it. His excuse was her excuse; it was the only way
she could've allowed herself to walk into this mess.
Plugging in the curling iron, Scully padded to her closet and
stared at the few dresses she owned.
She knew she was not going to wear the same dress she had worn
for Jonathan, but there was no harm in wearing the same shoes.
They were black with rhinestones; surely something in her closet
would work just fine.
Scully reached for one of her shorter black skirts and draped it
over her arm. Rummaging through the clothes, her eyes settled on
a sleeveless blouse she had only worn a few times. It was ice
blue with sequins scattered every which way on it. It was loose,
but very flattering.
She couldn't remember what the fabric was, but it was soft. Very
soft, like silk. Reaching into the far reaches of her mind,
Scully vaguely remembered that she had bought the blouse because
of how it had felt. The color had caught her eye, but the texture
had sold it. Where she had bought it was another question.
The comfort of the blouse would make up for the shoes and for
Scully laid the outfit neatly on the bed and made her way back to
the bathroom. She opted for some soft curls and then applied a
generous amount of make-up. Once again she added only a little
more eyeliner, but went for a soft pink color for her lips
instead of the red. She didn't want to be too va-va voom for this
Mulder had left early from the office, quickly stating that he
would pick her up at seven. In MulderTime that was seven-fifteen,
if she was lucky.
Since he'd left early, she'd had no reason to stick around so she
went home and lectured herself while relaxing in a bubble bath.
It was approaching seven now, so Scully began to dress herself.
She closed her eyes at the sensation of the blouse on her skin
and then sat on her bed to slip on her shoes.
Taking one last look in the mirror, Scully walked to the kitchen
to make herself a quick cup of tea. This night out with Mulder
was stressing her out in so many ways.
Just as she had set the kettle on the stove, a familiar knock
sounded at the door and Scully glanced at the clock. Much to her
surprise it was only slightly passed seven. Mulder was early,
compared to his habit of being fashionably late.
Scully took a deep breath before opening the door.
She opened the door to a smiling Mulder, a bouquet of gardenias
in his hand.
"You're on time," she stated with a smile.
Unable to help himself, he swept his eyes over her. If it was
possible, she looked better than she had for her date with
Jonathan. Mulder knew she hadn't planned it that way, but she'd
pulled it off. The blue brought out the color of her eyes and
accented her hair perfectly. Much to his delight, she'd worn THE
"Only according to some," he quipped, striding in with a
confidence that was hiding his nervousness. He handed her the
flowers with a smile.
Mulder was dressed in dark khaki pants and a blue-gray button up
shirt, the top few buttons unbuttoned. He looked casual, but
"Thank you. I was just about to make myself some tea."
"Please, continue to do so, I know how important your tea is to
you. They're not expecting us until seven-thirty anyway."
"They?" She asked as she walked back into the kitchen.
"Yeah, I, uh, made some reservations at Charleston's."
The whistle announced that the tea was ready and Scully replied
from the kitchen, "Wow, fancy."
Moments later Scully walked into the living room with two cups
and handed one to Mulder.
Dipping her head to sip her tea, Mulder's low voice stopped her
"You look incredibly beautiful, Scully." He'd debated saying
anything, for he knew that saying too much might cause her to
flee to the bedroom and change into jeans and a t-shirt, but his
feelings won over and he couldn't hold it in.
He had that sparkle in his eyes that she found irresistible.
Scully quickly averted her eyes away from him and finished the
sip she had almost abandoned.
A small thank you escaped her lips after she tasted her tea and
Mulder took a small sip of his tea soon after.
Taking a seat next to one another on the couch to finish their
tea, they were silent briefly until Mulder finally spoke up.
"So, are, uh, things going well with Jonathan?" He didn't want to
know, but showing some interest in her life wouldn't kill him.
"Yes, they're going great, well, better than I expected."
"Good good. He's a nice guy."
It was interesting that through the entire conversation, no eye
contact was made. They gulped the rest of their tea and Scully
took the cups to the kitchen. When she came back into the living
room, the gardenias he had given her were in a crystal vase and
she placed them on the coffee table.
"Let me get my coat and then we can leave," she said, already
half way to her coat closet.
After helping her with her coat, Mulder opened the door and
ushered Scully out with his hand placed in a spot he had missed
terribly the small of her back.
So far so good, Mulder thought, allowing himself a small pep
Mulder did everything a gentleman should do. He opened doors, let
Scully listen to whichever radio station she pleased, appeared
interested in everything Scully had to say. It was nice, but
unnerving for Scully. This wasn't what Mulder was like. Or maybe
it was and she had just never been introduced to the on-the-town
Mulder walked up to the host and confidently asked for their
table, Scully by his side.
"I'm sorry sir, what was the name?" Asked the smug host whose
name, according to the gold nametag, was Lewis.
"Mulder. Fox Mulder."
Mulder began to chew on his bottom lip, obviously nervous about
why it was taking so long.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Mulder. It seems as though you lost your
reservation," Lewis replied coolly. For some reason, Mulder
didn't believe that Lewis was truly sorry.
"_I_ lost it?" Mulder was trying to keep his temper.
"Well, one of our elite regulars made a last minute reservation
and your reservation had his table."
"Scully, would you excuse us for a moment?" The hardened
expression Mulder had taken softened at his request, so Scully
stepped away to stand by a nearby pillar.
Mulder turned back to Lewis and gave him a long stare.
"Alright, Lewis, I have a very beautiful woman whose heart I am
desperately trying to win back and I cannot afford to have the
evening begin like this."
"Be that as it may, sir, there is nothing I can do. Now if you
will please step aside, we have other customers who _have_
reservations that I need to attend to."
Before Mulder could allow his temper to win over, Scully took the
wild look in his eyes as a cue to gently pull him away.
"Mulder, please. It's all right. I'm not sure I want these people
having my business anyway," she said askance towards Lewis.
Her comment did not go unnoticed by Lewis. Mulder just nodded and
allowed Scully to lead him out the door.
"Can you believe that, Scully?" He stopped them on the sidewalk
and dry washed his face with his hand in frustration.
"As wrong as it is, I almost can believe it. Let's face it
Mulder, we aren't exactly aristocratic."
Mulder was looking at his feet, anger still in his eyes. Scully
walked to him and gently squeezed his biceps, his eyes looking to
her face at the gesture.
"If it helps, I appreciate you attempting to take me to such a
nice place." She smiled sweetly.
Mulder sighed. "I do what I can."
"I guess we should ask the valet to get your car."
"Actually, there is a place not far from here that I just
remembered. I have never been before, but I have always meant to
Scully looped her arm around his. "Lead the way."
When they arrived at Lafayette's, Scully could hardly hold back a
smile. This was a favorite of Scully's.
It was a French Cajun restaurant with a very intimate setting.
The lights were low and mellow blues music always played in the
background. Seeing that it was based around the theme of New
Orleans, it had pictures of blues artist legends and a slight
Mardi Gras decor.
Scully would sometimes bring her mother here or a close friend
like Ellen. She wasn't keen on being seen dining alone, so that
was never an option. To be there with Mulder was a simple
blessing and well worth not being able to eat at the 'It' place
They got a table without any trouble and their menus were set in
front of them. Mulder ordered champagne, Scully's choice, and he
looked over the menu.
"You see anything you like, Scully?" His eyes remained fixed on
the menu as he spoke.
"I think I am just going to get what I usually get," Scully said,
tossing her menu aside and sipping her water.
"Usually? I get the feeling you have been here before."
"A few times," she shrugged.
"I wish you'd told me. I would have taken you some place new and
"No, this is perfect. This is a favorite of mine, ranking in the
top three. Plus, I've never been here with anyone except for my
mom and a few friends."
Mulder smiled, about to reply, until the waiter interrupted by
bringing the champagne.
The waiter didn't wear a name tag, for reasons unknown, but he
had happily introduced himself before taking their drink orders.
"Have you decided what you will be having?" Todd asked
Scully glanced at Mulder, who was frantically looking the menu
over, then back at Todd. "We'll both have the Bon Ton Chicken,"
she replied, taking Mulder's menu and handing it to Todd along
"Alright, we'll have it right out."
"Bon ton chicken? Was that even on the menu?" Mulder asked as
Todd departed from their table.
"Yes, it's fantastic. I have no idea what is in it, but I know
you'll like it."
"Thanks for ordering for me. I don't eat Cajun, well, ever."
They received their food and talked and laughed. Almost two hours
went by without them noticing.
Mulder glanced at his watch, his eyes widening. "Whoa, we better
go." He waved Todd over and asked for the bill.
"What's the hurry?" Scully asked, draining the last of her
"You don't think dinner is all I had planned, do you?"
Todd set the bill down on the table and Mulder threw the money
down, with an uncharacteristically large tip included. He stood
and walked to offer Scully a hand up, grabbing her coat.
"How could I have been so foolish," she finally responded in the
rush of leaving.
Mulder didn't realize he was still holding Scully's hand as they
They had time to grab the car and find a parking spot, as long as
running was involved.
"Mulder, what are we doing?"
"We're going to a concert," he said, dragging her along behind
"I gathered that, Mulder, but who?"
Mulder stopped as soon as they reached the line, pulling out the
tickets and pointing to a giant poster with neon lights
"Cher!" she exclaimed.
"The one and only."
"You're kidding right?"
"Does this look like the face of a man who would kid about such a
thing?" He smiled at her.
"Do I have to answer that?"
The line started to move and it was only a few minutes before it
was their turn. Mulder handed the man at the door the tickets and
started making his way into the concert hall.
"I'm sorry, sir, but these tickets aren't valid."
The smile that had been plastered on Mulder's face since the
"What? How are they not valid?" Mulder dropped Scully's hand and
to Scully's surprise, she missed the contact.
"They're the wrong color."
"You have a color code?"
"Yes sir, now please step aside."
He was doing a lot of stepping aside tonight.
The bouncer took the tickets and threw them in a near by
trashcan. Mulder sighed a heavy sigh and walked away, almost
leaving Scully behind.
"Mulder, wait up."
"I cannot believe they have a color system."
"First off, Mulder, where did you get the tickets?"
Mulder looked out into the distance, his eyes settling on a
fountain not too far away.
"Frohike," he said, realizing his mistake.
"Come on, Mulder, let's take a walk ok?"
Scully snuck her hand back into Mulder's and held tight. They
didn't say much as they walked, just listened to the gentle click
of Scully's heels on the pavement.
As they walked, they passed a jazz bar. The live music could be
heard playing inside. Mulder almost kept them walking, until
Scully halted them.
"Mulder, stop. Listen."
The tune of 'Moon River' could be heard and a wistful smile
crossed Scully's face.
"Let's go in, just for a little bit."
Mulder stared at her. What she saw as a blank expression was
actually him being captivated by the idea of a simple song
bringing a smile to Scully's eyes.
"Okay," he replied.
They stepped inside and were surprised to see there wasn't much
of a crowd.
"It's the Cher concert," a voice behind the bar bellowed. "Some
of our regulars are there tonight."
Mulder and Scully just nodded and took a seat at a table not far
from the bar.
"You want anything?" Mulder asked quietly, trying not to break
the trance Scully was in.
"No, I'm fine."
On the stage was a myriad of musicians. There was a man at the
piano, a man on lead jazz guitar, a woman on the violin, a male
bass player, a man on the sax who also had a trumpet propped up
beside him. He was also the lead singer.
'Moon River' ended and Scully brought her attention back to
Mulder. She had a far off look on her face and she seemed so
"I haven't heard that song in so long," she said softly.
The pianist began to play a tune and the melancholy look on
Mulder's face dropped, his long absent smile claiming it's
rightful place on his lips.
"Well what do ya know."
Mulder stood up and offered Scully a hand, his eyes asking her to
dance. It wasn't a moment later when Scully realized what song
was being played.
'Walking in Memphis', the original mellower Marc Cohn version.
The violinist had stepped behind a basic drum set and kept the
beat, hitting the symbols and singing back up.
They were the only ones on the dance floor, but they didn't seem
to care and neither did anyone else. The bartender was drying a
glass, smiling as he watched.
The dance they danced wasn't too different from the one they had
danced to this song only a precious few years earlier. Their hips
swayed, occasionally brushing against each other and hushed
laughs escaping their lips. Mulder threw in a fancy twirl here
and there. For a man with such large feet, Mulder was sure light
When the song ended, Mulder gracefully dipped Scully and brought
her back up, their eyes meeting. They didn't pull away; they just
began to dance to an unknown jazz instrumental.
It was much slower than 'their song', so Mulder wrapped his arms
around her waist. Scully brought her arms up to rest around his
shoulders, her cheek resting on his chest. She closed her eyes
and zoned the music out, listening to Mulder's heartbeat.
After the song ended, they pulled away from each other. The only
cue Scully'd had that the song had ended, was Mulder stopping and
his hold loosening.
"You want to sit?" He smiled and she smiled back with a nod.
"I'll get us some water," he added.
Up until midnight they talked about an assortment of things. They
looked back on interesting cases and shared memories of the
little things that had made the case bearable. They steered clear
of any subjects too serious, like Scully's abduction and cancer.
Scully was leaning forward, her elbow propped on the tabletop and
her cheek resting in her palm. Mulder had both elbows on the
table, his hands clasped together and a magical smile on his
They had danced a lot through the night and laughed even more. It
wasn't until Mulder noticed the band packing up that he took a
look at his watch.
"I guess I better get you home," he said, regretting that he had
"Why don't we take a walk around the park first," Scully
If Mulder didn't know any better he'd think Scully actually
wanted to spend time with him.
"You're brave." He stood and draped Scully's coat over her
Scully just smiled and headed towards the exit. Mulder followed
after her, offering a friendly wave at the bartender. The
bartender gave a thumbs up and a look saying, "you're a lucky
Mulder smiled proudly and continued to leave. I really am, Mulder
thought to himself.
As soon as Mulder was outside, Scully looped her arm through his
and they began to take a leisurely walk.
Overall it was a wonderful night for a midnight walk. There were
some dark clouds scattered throughout the sky, but the moon was
full and bright.
They walked along the path and Mulder made some random
MulderComments any chance he could. They were rounding the corner
and heading to the car, when Mulder noticed people leaving the
concert stadium. He brought them to a halt in front of the
fountain, giving time for the crowd to clear up before he
attempted to drive out of the mess of people.
It wasn't until Mulder was walking towards the car that he
realized Scully had made her way to the other side of the
fountain. He approached just in time to see her throw a penny
into the water.
"What're you doing?"
"Making a wish."
"Agent Scully doing such a mystical thing? I think you've had too
Scully turned to him and smiled. She almost thought she saw
Mulder wink at her, but then noticed he was blinking water off
his lashes. It was starting to rain.
"We better get out of here before it starts to pour," she stated.
They walked to the car and Mulder attempted to open the door for
her. It was locked. He began to feel around in his pockets,
trying to find his keys to unlock the door, but was unable to
feel anything resembling a key.
Taking a deep breath, he bent over to look into the window of the
car. The keys were locked in. In the hurry to make it to the
concert, Mulder had locked the doors but had forgotten to take
the keys from the ignition.
"Scully, we have a problem."
As if on cue, thunder clapped and the clouds unleashed their
Mulder looked to the heavens and closed his eyes. "Wow, things
just keep getting better and better."
Scully almost laughed, but thought better of it. A man without an
ego was hardly a man at all, and Mulder's was hanging by a
thread. Instead she grabbed his arm and pulled him to where they
stood inside the entry of the stadium.
"We have two options, Mulder. We wait for the rain to stop, which
I judge will not be soon, or we hunt down a cab."
"I vote the latter. I can get my car in the morning."
They took deep breaths and began to scurry down the street.
Mulder had Scully pressed against him, his arm around her
shoulders, as if trying to shield her from the rain.
They walked almost a block and a half before they spotted a cab.
Running as quickly as they could, they hailed it and hopped
Scully shivered as she gave the address to her apartment and
Mulder continued to hold her to him.
When they reached her place, the rain had become a gentle
sprinkle. Mulder told the cab driver to wait as he escorted
Scully to her door. She let them both into the entryway of the
"This evening didn't turn out exactly how I wanted it . . . at
all. I'm sorry Scully."
He had that sad, defeated look on his face as his head hung low,
unable to meet her eyes. Scully was incapable of holding the
laugh in this time.
He heard her light snickering and looked at her, his brow knitted
"What?" He asked.
"Mulder, I really don't see how this evening could have gone any
other way," she started, "I think it went exactly how it was
A lop-sided grin crossed Mulder's face, but his posture still
"I had a great time. In fact, I think what happened was probably
better than what you had planned originally. You had a wonderful
evening planned, but this ended up being a very . . . spontaneous
night," she smiled.
Mulder perked up at her word choice then turned to exit; ready to
say a friendly goodnight.
Before Mulder could turn completely to the door, Scully grabbed
his arm and stopped him from taking another step. Before he could
respond to her sudden protest on him leaving, her lips were on
What started as sweet, chaste kiss ended up deepening into
something much more. Scully's arms slid up Mulder's and she
wrapped her arms around his neck. His hands slipped into her damp
hair, his palms cupping her jaw line.
Suave, you fool, he chanted to himself when it became apparent
that he had deepened the kiss as far as it could possibly go and
there was no turning back.
When what seemed like several minutes past, Mulder pulled away.
He tucked a strand behind her ear as he pulled completely away, a
sheepish grin on his lips.
Scully's heart was beating at what felt like an unhealthy rate as
she straightened her shirt. The color in her cheeks did not go
unnoticed by Mulder and only caused his grin to grow.
Scully smiled and picked up the coat, which had fallen from her
shoulders, up from the ground.
"Goodnight Mulder," she said hurriedly as she opened and walked
through the final entrance door of her building.
"Goodnight," he fit in, before she could shut the door.
To some, her hurried exit could have easily been misinterpreted
as a regretful dismissal, but she was clearly flustered and
Mulder just could not wipe the smile off his face.
He had flustered Scully. The funny thing was, she was the one who
had initiated the kiss.
Mulder exited her building and practically skipped down the
stairs to the cab.
Not a bad evening at all, he said to himself as he shut the taxi
They walked silently, hand in hand, until Scully broke the
"I have a joke to tell you," she started. Jonathan waited
patiently as he watched her search her mind. With a sigh of
frustration she quietly finished, "Never mind, I can't remember
exactly how it goes. Mulder told it to me the other day at the
office. He's a lot better at telling jokes than I am."
Jonathan stopped abruptly and released Scully's hand.
"What?" She asked innocently.
Jonathan provided a quiet, quick chuckle, bringing his eyes to
Scully's. "That's at least the sixth time you have mentioned
Agent Mulder tonight," he pointed out.
"I'm sorry," she said meaningfully. "I didn't even realize. I
didn't mean to bring work into our date."
Jonathan smiled a little and replied, "Well, Dana, you will be
happy to know that you haven't talked about _work_ once tonight."
It was bad enough Scully had been unable to sleep the previous
evening because her mind was fixed on Mulder and that
unbelievable kiss, but to bring him into her date with Jonathan
Scully shifted her weight to the other side of her body
uncomfortably. Jonathan took her gently by the wrist and led her
to a nearby bench. It was a beautiful night so they both had
decided to take a walk by the lake.
Scully knew it was her turn to say something, so she cleared her
throat and took a deep breath. Jonathan deserved to know why she
was incapable of steering her mind away from Mulder for one
"I'll be honest with you Jonathan. Mulder and I went on this
date, sort of, last night. To some, even Mulder, it could have
been seen as a complete disaster I won't bother you with the
details but I haven't been able to stop thinking about it."
Jonathan simply nodded in understanding, another smile hinting at
his lips. He had strong feelings for Dana, but he was amused at
what was obviously only apparent to him.
"Walk me through the date, Dana, beginning to end," he requested.
Scully took a moment to think. She laid her palms on her knees
and straightened up on the bench.
"Well, he was surprisingly on time and he gave me a bouquet of
gardenias," Jonathan's smile grew but Scully disregarded the
unexpected reaction and continued. "We had some tea, then went to
Charleston's only to find out that our reservations had been
cancelled and taken by someone far more superior than us," Scully
rolled her eyes for emphasis on the word 'far'.
"We ended up eating at Lafayette's, which was a pleasant surprise
because I love the place. We sat and talked for quite some time
until Mulder realized that we would be late for his next plans
for the evening." She paused, half because she wanted Jonathan to
ask what happened next and half because of what Mulder's plans
had _actually_ been.
"Which were . . ." Jonathan prodded.
"The Cher concert," she stated simply.
Jonathan's eyes widened. Dana didn't really strike him as the
Cher 'type', of course neither did Mulder. Sensing Jonathan's
disbelief and confusion, Scully attempted to briefly explain.
"Neither one of us are really huge fans of Cher, it was kind if
an inside joke if anything. We had this case awhile back that
indirectly involved Cher and . . . ok, that is a completely
different and irrelevant story."
Cher indirectly involved with an X-Files case? There was more
mystery in what these two did than he realized.
"Anyway, turns out that the tickets Mulder had gotten from a
close friend were invalid so those plans were also thrown out the
window. To cool off I suggested that we take a stroll. As we
walked we passed this jazz bar with live music and a song I love
lured me in there. The music took us over and we ended up dancing
and talking more until around midnight."
It was interesting to see how calmly Jonathan was taking all
this. It was far different than the way Mulder had taken the
explanation of her first date with Jonathan.
"We took a detour through a nearby park," she continued, "back to
the car. Only find out Mulder had locked his keys in the car."
Jonathan was trying hard not to laugh. So was Scully.
"Remember the storm last night?"
Jonathan nodded, immediately realizing what was to come.
"Well, the rain chose that time to come pouring down. Luckily, we
were able to get a cab. We were soaked, Jonathan. He walked me to
my door and apologized for the evening."
Jonathan noticed the hesitation as he sensed she was about to say
more. Scully cleared her throat.
"What could have just been a kiss on the cheek, _I_ turned into
something more. Much more. As soon as the far from platonic kiss
ended, I quickly bid him a good night and all but ran to my
"I'm sorry Jonathan, but I guess you needed to know."
"Don't apologize, Dana, I'm glad you told me. It's kind of
"First off, let me point out something you may have missed.
Something so very simple. I don't know too much when it comes to
love the medical field and science being my forte but I'll
tell you something I do know. Gardenias . . . gardenias are a
symbol of hidden desire, secret love. Somehow I think Mulder knew
Scully brought her attention directly to Jonathan, her eyes wide.
"Second, I've seen how he looks at you. I know I have only been
around him a few times in the time we have been dating and, trust
me, I have been trying to deny what I see in his eyes when he
looks at you. It's love, Dana."
A lump formed in her throat as Scully sat in silence, trying to
Jonathan continued. "I don't know what happened on that case,
previous to you and I dating, that caused you to believe
otherwise but it was a huge misunderstanding." He took his hand
in hers and placed it in his lap.
"Dana, I know you wanted to move on and it was a pleasure to
almost be the one that you moved on with, but you can't hide from
the truth. The truth is, you love him too."
Scully wiped a tear from her cheek as her lips pulled into a
"Like I said, I don't know much about love, but I know it when I
see it. What you two have is the real deal."
Placing a kiss on his cheek, Scully hugged him and whispered a
thank you. They stood up and looked at each other briefly before
it hit Jonathan that this wonderful woman was meant for someone
"You're going to be a hard woman to forget, Dana."
"Hey, it's not like this is some bitter break-up. You have become
one of my favorite people and intend to keep in touch with you,"
Scully smiled. "No forgetting allowed."
"Come on, let's finish our walk, then I'll take you home."
Jonathan took Scully's hand and they continued down the path.
Then something dawned on Scully. Jonathan had a thing for red-
heads, Scully having seen and heard about a few of the women he
had dated since arriving in D.C., so the thought that came to
Scully was brilliant.
"Do you happen to know of Kimberly Cook?"
A sheepish grin crossed Jonathan's face and he looked down at
Dana. "AD Skinner's secretary? I've seen her around. Why?"
"Oh, just wondering," Scully replied in an almost singsong
They walked in the moonlight, finishing their final walk on their
last evening together. Scully was devising two plans; how to go
about introducing Jonathan to Kimberly and how to go about
admitting her love to Mulder.
Mulder stood in front of his open refrigerator as he considered
his Sunday dinner options. In the freezer was a _very_ frozen
pizza and an old microwave pasta dinner. Of course, he always had
his week-old leftover Thai rice and beef.
He opted for the pizza.
While taking the frozen pizza from the cardboard box, a knock
sounded at the door. Mulder preheated the oven as he exited the
kitchen to answer the door. Being that it was almost nine, he
wasn't really sure who would be stopping by.
Avoiding the peephole, Mulder swung open the door, his eyes
settling on the one person who he both ached and dreaded to see.
The dread was only there because he had no idea what to expect
after Friday night. Neither of them had bothered to contact the
other since and although Mulder was confident that the kiss had
been a very good thing, he was still paranoid. He had ached for
Scully for quite some time, but now it was a deeper ache.
It took a while for Mulder to realize he had yet to greet Scully.
"Hey," he greeted.
"Hey," Scully echoed.
"You wanna come in?"
"Yes, thank you."
Scully stepped in and looked around, her fidgeting showing some
nervousness that did not go unnoticed by Mulder.
"Have a seat," he pointed to the living room couch, "I'll be back
in a sec."
As she made her way to the living room, Mulder scurried into his
kitchen and threw the pizza into the heated oven. He dry washed
his hands together and headed to the sofa.
"So what brings you to my humble abode?" Mulder settled in beside
Scully and smiled.
Scully took a deep breath and turned her attention to Mulder,
feigning a confident exterior. Her insides were all twisted with
"Before we get into anything, I need you to clear something up
Get into anything? Mulder thought. The bigger question was, was
it a good thing to be getting into?
Without skipping a beat Scully asked, "What were your intentions
and reasons for our date Friday?"
"I already told you my reasons, it was a celebration. As for
intentions . . . I didn't really have any, other than to assure
that you had a good time."
Scully shook her head, "No, I think there was more to it than
"Meaning what exactly?"
Scully sat back, gathering her thoughts. She wasn't aiming to be
accusatory towards Mulder and make him defensive, it was just
coming off that way. In all actuality, she was hoping he would
admit what he felt before she did.
Clearing her throat, Scully shifted the subject in a slightly
"Last night, on my date with Jonathan, I told him about our date.
Everything about our date," she made sure her eyes told Mulder
that she had told everything including the kiss to Jonathan. "We
broke up," she finished.
Mulder ran both hands over his face, his elbows coming down to
rest on his thighs.
"God, I'm sorry Scully. Why did you tell him?"
"Before we get into this any further, you need to know that it
Her nerves were on edge and her stomach was fluttering, if she
didn't force herself to get to the point, she was going to scream
in frustration. That wasn't exactly how she wanted to let Mulder
in on her feelings.
She'd thought about it all day, never really settling on a plan.
Her original plan had failed, getting him to say it, and she
hadn't bothered with a plan B. From here on in it was all
"Why the break-up or why did I tell him?"
Don't play dumb Dana; it doesn't look good on you, she thought.
Mulder looked at her and shrugged. "Both, I guess."
"I told him because . . . on our date I kept bringing you into
the conversation. Not intentionally, it just kept happening. I
couldn't get my mind off you, off our date. Off that kiss."
Mulder took his gaze from her and turned away, his smile bashful.
"He finally pointed it out to me," she continued, "and had me
tell him everything. He listened patiently and let me finish
before he said anything. When he finally spoke, it was an
epiphany for me."
Turning his body to Scully, Mulder placed his back against the
cushions and waited for Scully to enlighten him on what Agent
Jonathan Little had pointed out to her.
"The first thing he told me was the symbolism behind gardenias."
Mulder shot his drifting eyes back to Scully's.
When he had purchased the flowers, he'd had no idea what to get.
Roses were too intimate, but daisies were too friendly. He'd
approached the woman at the counter and asked her for any
suggestions. She of course had asked what the occasion was. Not
able to keep it to himself, Mulder explained everything to the
woman, down to his secret love for his partner. Mulder still
couldn't forget the twinkle in the elderly lady's eyes when she'd
recommended the gardenias and why.
Now Scully knew.
Mulder shook his head and brought himself back to the present.
Scully was waiting for him to say something.
"Gardenias, yes," is all he said.
Scully rolled her eyes. "Mulder, I asked if you knew what they
meant when you bought them."
Mulder had never lied to Scully, unless for her own good.
Starting now would be a bad move, so he just offered a nod as his
Scully desperately wanted to smile and throw her arms around
Mulder, but contained her emotions and moved on to the what else
Jonathan had told her.
"Before I say anything else, I need to ask you again. What were
your reasons behind our date, Mulder?" She asked gently, her hand
coming up to lie on Mulder's forearm.
In a meek voice Scully rarely heard, Mulder replied, "I wanted
you back Scully. I wanted to prove to you that . . . that when I
look at you I see a woman that I have grown to respect. A woman
with a beautiful mind and heart. A woman that I see as beautiful
in every aspect."
Holding back tears, Scully searched his face before concluding
everything she meant to say for the time being.
"Jonathan went on to point out two things. They are one and the
same, but one is going to have to come from you and one from me.
As cowardly as this may sound, I would rather you look into your
*heart* and find what it is that needs to come from you before I
say or do anything."
What was it that he was supposed to say? Maybe he should call
Jonathan for a hint, since he was the guru in all of this. Then
it hit him. Scully had given him all the hint he needed. She'd
clearly stressed the word 'heart'.
Mulder nipped at his bottom lip, taking his eyes from Scully
briefly to stare at his hands. His eyes moved up his arm and
settled on Scully's hand, which was still resting on his forearm.
He took the hand from his arm and entwined his own fingers
"I've felt something for you for a long time, Scully. A long long
time. Longer than I have let show. I think it all started back
when I found out you had cancer. Before that I had cared for you
so deeply since your abduction, but what I felt -what I feel now
has been going on for an almost unbearable amount of time. What
I'm trying to say is . . . I love you. I've been in love with you
and have continued to fall in love with you for a long time. I
know I have a lousy way of showing it, but it's real and it's
During his confession, Mulder had begun to absent-mindedly play
with Scully's fingers, avoiding eye contact.
Halting his hand with hers, Scully took both his hands and
brushed her lips across his knuckles. Her eyes were shining with
"I love you too, Mulder," she dropped his hands and wrapped her
arms around his neck. "I have for so long. I'd never realized how
deep and unyielding my love for you was until last night."
Pulling away, Scully's face fell serious. "Maybe I was afraid."
"I was too," Mulder admitted.
"Why do you suppose that is?"
"I know why I was afraid."
Scully looked over his features, taking his face into her palms.
"It's simple, really. Everything I love has a tendency to be
taken from me."
Not knowing how to respond to such a sad proclamation, Scully
brushed her lips across his sweetly. Mulder deepened the kiss,
wrapping his arms around her waist.
If Scully didn't know any better she'd think she could hear a
"Pizza," Mulder moaned.
Mulder pulled away, his nose and hers meeting in an Eskimo kiss.
"My pizza, in the oven, it's finished."
The confused look on Scully's face dropped and she began to
"Then by all means, go get your pizza."
Mulder stood. "Save my place?"
Scully just smiled and nodded.
With a thousand watt smile, Mulder rushed to the kitchen to
retrieve his pizza.
When he returned, Scully was reclining languorously. He set the
pizza down on the coffee table along with napkins and two beers.
It felt like old times, even though these were incredibly new.
Mulder sat down, his arm draping around Scully's shoulders,
pulling her into his body.
"You had dinner yet?"
"What do you say I put in a movie and we enjoy this fresh pizza
made by yours truly?"
Scully bent her head back to look Mulder in the eyes, a lazy and
unmistakably happy smile gracing her lips.
"Depends on the movie," she joked.
"Your choice, although rental is out of the question, so your
choices are limited."
It wasn't that he wouldn't rent a movie for Scully, he just
didn't want to leave.
Scully shook her head before placing it on Mulder's chest.
Brushing his lips across her forehead, Mulder stood up and walked
to his movie collection. Scully didn't know it yet, but Mulder
had thrown out his offensive movies long ago.
Naming movies from comedies like 'Caddyshack' to old horror
classics like 'The Invisible Man', Mulder and Scully bantered
over which flick would be best. They finally settled on Alfred
After eating a few pieces each, Scully's appetite surprising
Mulder, they snuggled in each other's arms and enjoyed the
There were still things to talk about, but there was always time
for such things. Even Scully was simply enjoying the artlessness
of resting in Mulder's embrace.
Forgiveness had finally found its place in Scully's heart, along
with love and new understanding.
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