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                                    Title: Sleeping with the Enemy
                                    Author: KimK
                                    Rating: PG
                                    Keywords: Angst, implied future MSR
                                    Spoilers: One Son
                                    Summary: I don't have one . . . egads! It involves the Diana
                                    Archive: Of course! Just let me know so I can visit.
                                    Feedback: Um, I guess . . . Psh, yes!! Gotta have it.
                                    Disclaimer: Not mine. I'm poor. Don't sue. 
                                    Thank you: Sara for being a terrific beta reader, a wonderful
                                    friend and for helping me find an ending for this! And, as
                                    always, thank you for reading.
                                    Author's Notes: I was watching One Son the other day and a
                                    line that Mulder said, and the reaction that came of it, made
                                    me want to write this. He mentioned something to Kersh about
                                    how the syndicate had tried to sleep with the enemy, but it
                                    led to their demise (paraphrasing of course). But what really
                                    made me want to write this was, when he said that, he looked
                                    to Scully but she refused to make eye contact with him. This
                                    is my interpretation on why. 
                                    The walk to the bullpen was done in silence. It was five
                                    o'clock, so most of the staff had left for the evening. Quiet
                                    conversations could be heard from those who needed to fit in
                                    another ounce of gossip before shutting down. The loudest
                                    sound, however, was the clip-clop of Scully's heels as she
                                    walked ahead of Mulder to her desk. 
                                    She had refused to make eye contact with him all day,
                                    especially at the meeting with Kersh. 
                                    Turning the corner, Mulder watched Scully at her desk, her
                                    refusal to speak was killing him. Despite the most recent
                                    events, he thought she should be at least somewhat happy at
                                    this moment. From the sound of things, they had the X-Files
                                    back. Kersh, Skinner, Mulder and Scully were to meet in the
                                    morning to discuss the possibility. 
                                    The sound of static as Scully shut off her computer brought
                                    Mulder's attention solely on her again. 
                                    "Everything okay, Scully?"
                                    "Yes," she answered succinctly, grabbing her coat from the
                                    back of her swivel chair. 
                                    He took a small step toward his desk, toward her. "Are you
                                    sure? You've been unusually quiet all day and acting almost as
                                    if . . . you're mad at me," he said quietly, cautiously.
                                    For the first time today she looked up at him, a hazy yet wet
                                    look in her eyes. It was as though she were trying to keep
                                    from crying. 
                                    "I'm not mad, Mulder," the emotion lacing her throat with the
                                    In an attempt to avoid anything too emotional, Mulder changed
                                    the subject, adding a nod to at least let her know he heard
                                    "So, we may get the X-Files back. That serves as a silver
                                    lining to all of this, don't you think?" He added a small
                                    smile to bring in some levity and made the final walk to his
                                    "Yeah, Mulder, it does," she agreed in almost a whisper,
                                    slipping her arms into her coat, a wan smile pulling at her
                                    An uncomfortable silence settled over the dark room before
                                    Scully finally made a move to exit. 
                                    "Goodnight, Mulder. I'll see you in the morning," she said
                                    over her shoulder, not looking back. 
                                    "Wait, wait. Hold it. Something is wrong and I want to know
                                    what it is. I know these deaths couldn't have gotten to you
                                    this bad, not after everything we've been through. I know you,
                                    Scully. It has to be something else. Something I've done,
                                    maybe? So what gives."
                                    He had taken a few steps toward her from behind his desk, his
                                    hands resting on his hips as he waited for her answer. It took
                                    a moment, but she finally turned to him, her head bowed for a
                                    second before she squared her shoulders and looked him in the
                                    "I thought you knew me too, Mulder."
                                    Dumbfounded and beyond confused, Mulder just stood there, his
                                    mouth agape. 
                                    "I'm tired of playing games, Mulder," she started, sounding
                                    almost defeated. "I'm tired of you picking and choosing whose
                                    side I get to be on. Whether I'm the good guy or the bad guy.
                                    I've picked my side and it's yours, believe it or not. So the
                                    next time you start accusing people of sleeping with the
                                    enemy, I want you to stop, take a look in the mirror and give
                                    me some insight on whose side you're on," and with that she
                                    turned and left, not allowing him a word in defense. 
                                    What hit him the hardest was that she had said the entire
                                    thing in a whisper. No anger could be detected in any word she
                                    Only hurt.                
                                    After a few minutes of sitting in her car in the garage,
                                    almost hoping Mulder would come after her, Scully went home.
                                    Tears threatened to cloud her vision, but she refused to let
                                    When she reached home, she immediately changed into jeans and
                                    a tee-shirt, her feet clad in white socks. She considered
                                    taking a hot bath to soothe her muscles while listening to
                                    Vivaldi; shutting the world out for half an hour, but opted to
                                    do the dishes instead. Relaxing was out of the question right
                                    now anyway, no matter how much ylang ylang and jasmine she
                                    poured into two feet of water.
                                    Filling the sink with water and squeezing in the required
                                    amount of Dawn, Scully stared at the wall in front of her,
                                    Was he really that dense? She wondered. Could he really not
                                    possibly see the distance that had stretched between them
                                    since she had stormed out of the Gunmen's lair? 
                                    She shut off the water and reached for a wash cloth, a knock
                                    on the door interrupting the retrieval. Sighing, Scully wiped
                                    her hands dry, notwithstanding the fact they had yet to touch
                                    the water, and padded to her door. She glanced through the
                                    peephole, her heart speeding up once she realized who it was.
                                    Sighing once more, she cleared her throat and opened the door.
                                    "What was that?" Mulder practically demanded, not bothering
                                    with a hello and certainly not allowing her to invite him in,
                                    for he pushed his way through as if he owned the place.
                                    Scully's eyes widened at the unexpected intrusion, but she let
                                    it slide and shut the door, pausing a moment before she turned
                                    to look at him again.
                                    Apparently the few seconds of silence was unacceptable,
                                    because Mulder felt the need to ask the question again, his
                                    jaw clenched. "What was that, Scully?"
                                    He knew he shouldn't be angry, or at least, he knew he
                                    shouldn't be showing his anger. After all, he had asked her to
                                    tell him what was wrong. And she had been hurt. Her words
                                    hurt, but they were not said in anger, only pain. He needed to
                                    remember the look he'd seen in her eyes before he said another
                                    word to her. 
                                    Taking a deep breath and mentally counting to ten, he ran a
                                    hand haphazardly through his hair before pressing on. His eyes
                                    had fallen to look at his shoes just briefly and when he
                                    looked up, he saw that Scully was making her way back to her
                                    kitchen. He was about to follow her when he realized she had
                                    just walked in there to turn off the light. 
                                    "Mulder, I've said all I want to say for now, okay?" She
                                    informed him, collected. Her voice was eerily calm and he knew
                                    it was all an act. 
                                    "No, Scully, I want to settle this once and for all. I don't
                                    understand where all of this is coming from."
                                    Okay, maybe he was that dense. Or maybe he was just in denial.
                                    Either way, it infuriated her to no end. 
                                    "You don't under-" she started. "Mulder, do you have any idea
                                    how you made me feel when you disregarded the facts I laid in
                                    front of you about Diana Fowley? How humiliating it was for
                                    the Gunmen to witness you rip the trust I thought you had in
                                    me to shreds?"
                                    "I went to look for evidence to back-up everything you had
                                    said about her! Doesn't that account for anything?"
                                    Did he think that would fix everything? Saying that only made
                                    the problem worse. It only made it more obvious that he didn't
                                    trust her half as much as he had claimed so long ago. 
                                    "God, Mulder, you don't get it do you? You shouldn't have had
                                    to look for anything. Since when did my word lose its
                                    credibility? Since when did you have to find a reason to
                                    believe me? When it involves cases and theories that is one
                                    thing. But when it involves us . . ." Stumbling with her
                                    words, she gathered herself before continuing. "I just
                                    thought, after all these years, my word would be enough. I
                                    guess I was wrong. I guess I am the bad guy in all of this."
                                    He didn't know what to say because . . . she was right. She
                                    shouldn't have to prove herself to him. Hadn't she done that a
                                    thousand times already? 
                                    "I'm sorry, Sc-"
                                    "Sorry isn't going to cut it this time, Mulder," she
                                    interrupted. "You have no idea how that made me feel. No
                                    She was right again, he didn't. But before he could voice that
                                    very thought, she continued.
                                    "I want you to imagine for just a moment, just one moment,
                                    what it would be like for someone to lose trust in you like
                                    that. For *me* to lose trust in you like that. And then I want
                                    you to recognize that imagining that betrayal doesn't even
                                    measure up to the reality."
                                    Once again her voice was eerily quiet as she said this. He
                                    almost wished she would yell at him instead of standing there,
                                    unmoving, admonishing him with whispers.
                                    "I don't care about your past with Diana. I don't. I don't
                                    care what you had or what you still may have," she added. 
                                    The last words caught his attention in a different way.
                                    Therefore he broke in before she went on.
                                    "Scully, you don't honestly think that Diana and I are . . .
                                    that we . . . because that is far from the truth. Sure we had
                                    our thing way back in the day, but that was a long time ago."
                                    It was then that he realized that lately he hadn't given
                                    Scully a reason to believe that nothing was going on between
                                    Diana and him. 
                                    "Mulder, I don't care," she almost shouted. He was almost
                                    comforted that she had raised her voice, but then he realized
                                    that she had, in fact, raised her voice and he wanted to run
                                    for cover. 
                                    "It seems to me like you care a great deal," was what escaped
                                    his lips instead. He almost regretted the comment.
                                    "The only thing I *care* about is that ever since she got here
                                    you have been a completely different person toward me and
                                    entirely antagonistic. You don't talk to me like I'm your
                                    partner, hell, you don't even talk to me like you even like me
                                    all that much. So don't pin this all on jealously or, or me
                                    trying to pry into your past, Mulder. I'm sick of telling you
                                    the same thing over and over again and you looking at me like
                                    I have lost my mind."
                                    "But, Scully, I don't want you to draw these conclusions
                                    that " He didn't get a chance to finish. 
                                    "What am I to you, Mulder?"
                                    The air was pregnant with unspoken words. 
                                    Scully stared him down, trying to gauge whatever it was he was
                                    thinking, but his mind was so clouded with thoughts that *he*
                                    wasn't even sure what he was thinking. The color that had
                                    risen in her cheeks suddenly faded and she was now so white it
                                    made her transparent. Or it at least made how broken she felt
                                    by his absence of words completely visible behind her warrior
                                    Mulder was panicking. Maybe it didn't show so much on the
                                    outside, but his blood was boiling and his ears were ringing
                                    and although his eyes remained fixed on Scully, frozen in
                                    shock, he was still somehow looking for a way to escape. 
                                    She sighed, the sound escaping her lips in a whoosh and her
                                    eyes closing with the exhale. Her shoulders fell in defeat and
                                    she reached a hand up to dry wash her face.
                                    "Please go home, Mulder." She reached for the doorknob,
                                    already turning it to show him out the door. 
                                    Then somehow, obviously by divine intervention, his mouth
                                    welcomed words.
                                    "No, Scully, wait. It's not that I don't know what to say, per
                                    se, I just . . . I'm torn between what I want to say and what
                                    I should say." His hand had come up to her shoulder, halting
                                    her movement to open the door. 
                                    "Just tell me the truth." 
                                    He shuffled his feet nervously, clearing his throat as though
                                    to better prepare himself. He smiled the smallest of smiles,
                                    in a sense hoping it would make the words come easier. Her
                                    eyes were pleading yet demanding that he not lie to her. So he
                                    "I don't know how to put into words . . ." he started, a laugh
                                    escaping his lips. He was laughing at the fact that the
                                    English language had chose this moment to desert him. He took
                                    one step closer, breathing her in, and was pleased that she
                                    made no move to step away. "To put it simply, you're
                                    everything to me, Scully. Essential to my life, to who I am
                                    and who I have and could become. I know there have been few
                                    times that I have expressed what you have come to mean to me,
                                    but I never meant for you to think I didn't mean any of it. I
                                    meant every word. I do love you, Scully. If can believe one
                                    thing I have ever said, believe that," was what finally
                                    spilled from his lips. 
                                    Mulder brushed his thumb over her shoulder before dropping his
                                    arm to his side. He shrugged, as though saying 'that's all
                                    I've got.'
                                    Scully's hand left the door knob and her head sagged. She
                                    worried her lip for a moment, allowing his words to sink in.
                                    They were touching and she knew he meant every word. The sad
                                    thing was it cut into her to hear him say these things after
                                    the way he had treated her.
                                    "Then help me understand, Mulder. Help me understand why, when
                                    Diana Fowley is around, I'm the odd man out. Is it just easier
                                    to work with her because she follows without question? Do you
                                    feel as though you owe her? I'm not trying to be difficult, I
                                    just want to stop feeling this way and I can't unless you
                                    *make* me understand."
                                    "I guess I do feel as though I owe her in a sense. She was a
                                    good partner way back when. And, I guess, I also didn't want
                                    to face the possibility that she really had crossed over." He
                                    paused, thinking. He wanted Scully to understand that, in the
                                    end, he would choose her. He would choose her to work with and
                                    to love.
                                    "I've had five important women in my life, Scully. All of
                                    which changed my life one way or another. There's my mother,
                                    Samantha, Phoebe, Diana and you. I've lost four of them in
                                    some way. Samantha being taken, therefore making my mother a
                                    woman I hardly know. You know the story behind Phoebe and
                                    Diana. I don't handle loss too well, Scully. With Mom and
                                    Samantha, it hurts, but I carry on. Eventually I got over
                                    Phoebe and Diana. But with you, God, what I felt for them was
                                    microscopic compared to my feelings for you. These feelings
                                    overwhelm me, Scully, and sometimes I just have to step back
                                    to get perspective. I've almost lost you more times than I
                                    care to think about and each time I wasn't sure if I could
                                    live with the thought of never seeing you again. If I could
                                    live at all." He reached down and clasped Scully's hand in
                                    his, searching her eyes. 
                                    "Scully, I can't lose you now. I know a few words are not
                                    going to solve everything that is wrong between us or make you
                                    forget the way I treated you, but could we try to take a step
                                    to move passed this?" 
                                    "I hope so, Mulder. I really hope we can . . . I can."
                                    Mulder smiled, not so much a triumphant smile, but one more of
                                    understanding. He squeezed her hand then released it. 
                                    "I think I better go now, Scully. See you in the morning?" He
                                    sounded almost doubtful.
                                    "Count on it, partner.  I wouldn't miss it for the world," she
                                    said, offering a smile of her own. 
                                    The smile spoke volumes, but most importantly it meant that
                                    she was willing to try anew. It was all he could expect for
                                    The End
                                    Believe it or not, I don't plan to write another fic
                                    concerning Diana issues for quite some time after this. Don't
                                    keel over from the shock. I think I have pretty much said what
                                    I want to say. Given that Mr. Car-ter never, ever resolved
                                    anything concerning the triangle of Diana, Mulder and Scully,
                                    well, you can blame him for this obsession that I have held
                                    onto for dear life. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this
                                    interpretation. I'll be waiting patiently for your feedback.