Title: No Ifs, Ands or Bees
Keywords: MSRH, 100% Fluff
Rating: 15 and up for sexual innuendo
Time Line: Post Hollywood A.D.
Spoilers: Hollywood A.D. and The Unnatural
Feedback: Bronzed and put in a shrine. firstname.lastname@example.org
Archive: Go for it, just let me know.
Website: Read my other stories at http://kkrazy1013.tripod.com
Disclaimer: They're not mine. Oh and I stole a phrase from
Ferris Bueller's Day Off -you'll see.
Summary: What happened after the tragic movie premiere?
Thank you: Sara Bowen for your friendship and beta skills. And
thank you Gillian and David for your chemistry and CC for
making a show where this amazing chemistry could exist.
I'm in the middle of writing a dark fic, I've been reading
some very angsty fics and I've been dealing with the dramas of
RL, so I thought some fluff would help ease my troubled mind.
I hope you enjoy it!
They left the stage set hand in hand, the sky clear and stars
barely visible, muted by the city lights. The moon was full,
fitting for a night like this, and with the hour growing later
the city noises were not as pronounced. It was peaceful for
After the movie premiere, Mulder and Scully decided to soften
their sorrows with an expensive Hollywood meal, at a cozy
Greek restaurant called the Royal Garden. They didn't even
look at the prices, only followed where their appetites led
them. It was on Skinner after all. Now, as they walked along
the sidewalk, they silently wondered what else this city had
"So, Mulder, what else are we going to do?" Scully swung their
arms back and forth playfully, the smile in her question
"Ah, the question isn't 'what are we going to do' but 'what
aren't we going to do,'" he replied with a waggle of the
eyebrows. He was grinning that goofy grin that never ceased to
make her squirm with delight, but she suppressed the urge to
do so, raising an eyebrow instead.
"Well, given the time, our options are limited," Scully
"Scully, the night is young! We have plenty of options," he
With nothing to say, Scully chortled. She squeezed his hand,
the click of her heels echoed as they continued to walk. A
black limo pulled up to them, the driver tipping his hat in
greeting. Playing the part of a gentleman, Mulder opened
Scully's door before the chauffeur could get out to do it. She
smiled in gratitude and ducked inside, Mulder following her.
"Where to?" The driver asked, his mustache moving up and down
as he spoke.
It was then that the two agents realized they had no idea
where to go. Scully had attempted to discuss it, but their
conversation had veered until there was just companionable
silence between them.
"Uh," Mulder stammered, looking at Scully in hopes that she
might chime in. She only shrugged. "Just drive around for a
while, maybe we'll see something."
Nodding, the driver pulled away from the gate and onto the
Scully was looking out the window, taking in the city, when
she felt that tickling feeling on her neck when someone was
looking at her. That someone was inevitably being Mulder. She
turned to look at him, amusement in her eyes.
"What?" She queried after a beat.
"You look nice tonight, Scully. I don't think I told you."
"No, you didn't," she smiled. "You don't look so bad yourself,
He beamed at the compliment and Scully couldn't help but roll
her eyes at his reaction to her observation, causing him to
Mulder leaned over and brushed an errant strand of hair behind
Not really used to this kind of attention from Mulder quite
yet, Scully averted her eyes for a moment and spotted
something to occupy their time for at least a little while
outside the window.
"Could you stop here, please?" She asked the driver politely.
It was a park, a few people peppered the area, mostly couples.
An ice-cream man was walking with his cart, stopping every now
and then to hand out the treats. The driver pulled into a
small parkway to drop Mulder and Scully off.
Upon exiting, Mulder told the driver to circle a few laps
while they walked. The chauffeur was patient, nodding in
compliance. He was getting a nice sum of money from the
studio, so he why would he care how they spent the time,
They approached the ice cream man of about fifty-five years
old and stood in the short line, waiting their turn.
"So, Agent Scully, what tickles your taste buds? What makes
your stomach flutter with anticipation? With one lick, what
satisfies your cravings?" The questions were asked low and
husky, Mulder's face inching closer and closer with each
inquiry. His warm breath tickled her ear and sent shivers down
She raised an enigmatic eyebrow and leaned in only centimeters
closer, an impish grin pulling at her lips. His eyes sparkled,
waiting for her to meet his match. Her eyes dropped to his
lips for a moment, his stomach dropping at the gesture, before
she finally replied, "Mint Chocolate Chip, Mulder. Mint
Chocolate Chip." And, if at all possible, her grin grew and
before Mulder knew it she had taken a step forward, moving up
He was still frozen in place.
Shaking himself from the stupor, Mulder took one stride to
catch up with her. She had already asked and received her
cone, so it was his turn.
"Rocky Road," he requested, a smile on his lips still.
Given the older man did not have the means to take credit
cards, Mulder paid in cash. After he was handed his waffle
cone with one scoop, he and Scully moved out of the way to
allow others to indulge themselves.
With one hand holding his ice-cream, Mulder grabbed Scully's
hand with the other and laced their fingers together. She took
a break from lapping at the mint green frozen treat and looked
at him, her smile coming back from its 30 second absence.
Eyeing him only briefly, she went back to licking her ice-
They walked aimlessly down the running trail, a few night
joggers passing them. Though pleasant, Mulder wanted to break
the silence. He looked down at Scully and let out a small
"What?" She asked.
"Do you realize this is the first time in a very long time
that we have been able to just spend time together? No
interruptions. No case to tend to. No work to worry about the
next day. Just you and me; us."
Her smile broadened at his observation and she licked at her
ice-cream again before commenting. "It's a nice feeling, huh?
I guess even we catch a break sometimes."
"Yeah," he agreed in a breathy tone. He was already down to
the cone and began crunching away at it.
"Wow, you really inhaled that didn't you?" Scully laughed out
the question, her eyes watching him as he stuffed the
remainder of the cone in his mouth.
"Mm-hmm," was all he could get out, his mouth too full to say
anything else. He looked down at her half eaten treat and
smiled as well as he could.
"What can I say? I like to savor the moment," she defended
with a shrug, her lately, ever-present, smile unwavering.
Mulder hadn't seen her smile so much, and for so long, in the
entire time they had worked together.
He watched her contentedly as she finished her ice-cream. He
watched as one larger lick caused her faced to contort into
"Ow, brain freeze," she exclaimed, her hand tearing away from
his, her fingers coming up to press against her forehead. Once
it passed, she shook her head and pursed her lips together.
Then, much to his delight, she slipped her hand back into his
and he gladly held on tight.
She finished the rest of the goody just in time, for they had
reached the limo which had pulled up beside a lamp post; the
driver waiting patiently, his nose buried in a book.
Simultaneously they looked at one another and Scully asked,
"Hey, we're just making this up as we go along, aren't we?"
"True, but we seem to be taking turns. I hate to break it to
you, but it's your turn to pick our next activity," she said,
nudging his arm with her shoulder.
"Ah, Scully, I don't make a good event planner," he whined
playfully. His thumb swept over the soft, webbed skin between
her thumb and index finger.
"Come on, partner, this takes team work."
"We could peruse all of the celebrity hot spots," he
A disgusted look crossed Scully's features at the idea. "I
think I've had enough of the celebrity world for a lifetime,
"Point taken and understood," he nodded in agreement.
"I'm not opposed to the idea of hitting some clubs."
Mulder's eyes widened, his eyebrows shooting up to his
hairline. Clubbing with Scully? This could get interesting.
"You're a wild woman, aren't you? All these years and you
*just* now share this with me. I don't know if I should be
intrigued or worried."
Whether her silence meant that she was remaining mysterious
because, well, she could or she had nothing else to say,
Mulder wasn't sure. However, an idea hit him and he let go of
"Wait here," he said. Scully watched him as he jogged to the
driver's window, said something to the driver and then jogged
right back to her.
"What was that about?" She asked, her brow crinkling in
confusion, but amusement evident.
"Just seeing how long our good friend George is willing to
wait," he snatched her hand in his and began to pulling her
toward the park again.
"Wait for what?" She laughed out.
"For us to swing."
It was then that Scully looked where they were headed. A small
swing-set, with three swings hanging from the horizontal pole,
Mulder had them running toward the set, not paying attention
to the fact that Scully was in heels. Then again, she *was* an
expert at running in them. Finally they reached the swings,
albeit a little out of breath.
"Hasn't anyone ever told you never to run on a full stomach?"
"I didn't want anyone to take our spot," he said, as though
that were a valid excuse. No parent in their right mind would
allow their child out here at this time of night and the
chance of anyone in the almost empty park taking 'their spot'
was slim. But she let it slide, shaking her head at the Mulder
Mulder let go of her hand and took a seat. Scully waited a
moment before doing the same. She curled her fingers around
the chains, her head falling back to look at the sky. She
heard Mulder swinging, just slightly, beside her. Closing her
eyes, she suddenly remembered the last time they had been at
the park together.
"Mulder," she called, her eyes still closed as the warm air
washed over skin. "Do you remember the last time we had a
little rendezvous at a park?"
Mulder stopped swinging, searching his mind for the memory she
spoke of. He didn't remember a park, a sad revelation in more
ways than one. It wasn't so much that it bothered him that he
couldn't recall the 'rendezvous,' but that there hadn't been
enough for him to never forget.
As if sensing his panic, though her face was still turned
heavenward, Scully enlightened him. "Well, it wasn't a park-
park, more like a baseball park," she said. At last, she
turned her attention to him, her cheek resting against the
back of her hand as she twisted the swing to better face him.
She was welcomed with a toothy grin that caused the corners of
his eyes to crinkle. He mimicked her movement until they were
face to face.
"Ah yes, your baseball lesson."
"Mm-hmm," she hummed in delightful affirmation.
"That was a memorable evening, if I do say so myself," he
Usually, Scully would have a come-back, bring his ego down to
a healthy level, but for once she simply agreed with another
"It had been a weird year," he added as an after thought.
"Oh yeah, and we're not used to *those* now are we?" Scully
quipped, her eyes rolling with the comment as a gum revealing
smile crossed her lips.
Scully's face softened a little, her eyes sparkling as the
moonlight hit her perfectly. She swallowed before she said, "I
never thanked you for that, Mulder."
"Well, you're welcome. It was the least I could do for making
you lug books down to the office for me." He brushed his knee
against hers and tilted his head to the side.
Their eyes locked and Mulder pushed a strand of Scully's hair
from her face that the California breeze had tossed over her
eyes. But instead of pulling his hand away, Mulder cupped her
cheek and brushed his thumb over her temple.
It was still so new, this giant leap they had taken not so
long ago in their relationship. They were not yet used to the
fact that after almost eight years the simple act of a kiss
was not something that needed to be mulled over. It could just
Scully licked her lips, the act causing Mulder to tear his
eyes away from hers, his gaze trailing down to the surface her
tongue had just swept over. He moved his hand from her cheek
down to her neck, fitting the curve of it in his palm.
In one fleeting moment, his lips were on hers. At first she
held her breath, but it wasn't long before she released it in
a sigh. Scully brought a hand up to his hair, combing her
fingers through the dark strands. As they began to breathe
each other in and deepen the kiss, Mulder moved to try and
bring her closer to him and . . .
Fell flat on his back, the swing having slipped from beneath
He hit the ground with an 'oomph' and just lay there, utterly
humiliated. Scully looked down at him, her eyes wide and a
trace of amusement began to dance in her eyes. It wasn't long
before laughter began to bubble up inside her.
Mulder lifted his head up off the ground and looked at her,
amused by her unashamed delight. A mischievous grin crossed
his face and Scully halted her laughter. Before she could stop
him, Mulder grabbed her calf and puller her on top of him.
"I'm quite the Don Juan, aren't I?" He quipped.
"No, but you'll do," Scully replied, brushing the top of her
nose against his. She dusted off his shoulder. He was covered
in dirt from his fall.
"You know, Mulder, they charge extra for getting this dirty,"
she informed him.
"I guess they would if it were a rental."
She stopped her dusting and tilted her head to the side,
studying him. "Well well well, aren't we high class."
He shrugged as his response then craned his head up to capture
her lips. Pulling away, he said, "You know, I think I just
thought of what we can do for the rest of the evening. I mean,
birds do it, bees do it, even educated MD's do it." He waggled
his eyebrows, leaving no question to what he meant.
"A little too sure of yourself don't you think, Mulder?" She
supplied a raised eyebrow with her challenge.
"Maybe." He shrugged, but quickly followed it by saying,
"Don't play coy with me, Dr. Scully. I think I have earned my
place to assume something so . . . lascivious of you." He
Scully smiled, but her eyes twinkled mischievously. "That
movie almost had us pinned," she whispered, drawing circles
with her finger on his chest.
"Well, Scully, something was pinned in that movie and as I
recall it required me being on top." Mulder's hands rubbed the
soft spot above Scully's hips as he bit the inside of his lip.
"Care to test that theory?" She moved her hand from his chest
to comb her fingers through his hair.
"A Bureau credit card says we can do just that with the help
of expensive champagne, strawberries and cream."
Leaning forward, Scully rested her forehead against his,
rubbing their noses together in an Eskimo kiss. "Then by all
means, Agent Mulder, prove it."
She slid off of him, brushing the dirt from her dress as she
stood. Mulder stared up at her, a half smile gracing his face.
She stretched her arm out to assist him in getting up; he took
her hand and pushed himself up from the ground.
"The pleasure will be all yours." Mulder grabbed Scully's hand
and led her in the direction of the limousine.
"You're so cocky," Scully laughed out, playfully slapping his
He leaned into her ear and whispered, "I love it when you talk
"You're incorrigible." She rolled her eyes with the statement,
but squeezed his hand affectionately.
The couple reached the town car, laughter still in the air and
a glide in their steps. George lay his book down in the
passenger seat and placed his chauffeur hat back on his head.
Mulder brushed his lips across Scully's knuckles before
opening the door to let her slide inside.
Tonight they would celebrate life the zombie way -eat, drink,
dance and make love. No ifs, ands or . . . bees about it.
Something was definitely going on by the time the end events
of Hollywood A.D. rolled around. The time line jumped around
so much that it's hard to say exactly when that something
happened, but we'll assume it was some time after all things.
This fic was just a fun way to look at this new part of their
relationship; how they're still getting used to this
change between them but enjoying it all the same. Like Mulder,
I have plenty of theories for what happened when.